Thursday, December 8, 2011

HALF-LIFE (Back to Black Reverse) Part 2

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Here’s part 2 of Joe and Rem’s story told from Joe’s perspective.


“Before the truth goes back into hiding
I want to decide 'cause it's worth deciding
To work on finding something more than this fear”

Four months ago

I was running late.  Meg would be furious.  I had to double check if I had my keys in my pocket and double check if I locked the door.  I pressed the down button hoping that the elevator won’t make me wait that long.  I really don’t want to deal with a very impatient girlfriend.  I checked my phone – 10 new messages, all from Meg I’m sure.  Just as I was about to send her a quick reply, the elevator door opened.  She will have to wait a few minutes more.

I went inside the elevator and noted only one other passenger.  She smiled when she saw me – a big smile that almost knocked my breath out of me and I felt something down there harden.  What the fuck?!  One sweet smile and my cock hardened – what sort of voodoo is this?  I fought the urge of smiling right back at her.  I caught a faint scent of her perfume.  She smelled nice.  All woman.  My dick hardened a bit more, and I started to fidget in my place.  Thank god she wouldn’t be able to see my hard on!  Nakakahiya.  This is the first time in my life that I felt like I was claustrophobic, and I wanted to get out and get away from her.

When the elevator doors opened, I hurried myself out.  To hell with being a gentleman, I need fresh air.  I need to forget her perfume.  My phone vibrated.  I looked at the screen.  Meg is calling.  I need to get to Meg.


Who was she?  A new tenant perhaps.

It was the very first time that I have seen her in the building, and I have lived there for 6 months now.  I couldn’t understand why I was feeling this way.  She was no plain Jane, but she was no stunner either and yet… there was something about her and I couldn’t quite put my finger to it.

“Joe, you’re not listening!”

That definitely woke me up from my reverie.

“Sorry, Meg.  I am a bit preoccupied.  Work stuff.”  I drank my coffee.  It had gone cold.

“Well, pay attention.  This is really important.  I talked to Daddy earlier today, and we have a dinner party to attend to this weekend.”  I heard Meg start to say.

I just nodded.  If it was about a party, I’d be hearing about it the whole week so it wouldn’t really matter if I listen to her now or not.

What is it about that girl?  I just can’t stop thinking about her?


“Hold the elevator!”  I shouted as the elevator doors were about to close.  Good thing someone from the inside heard me and the elevator doors glided open again.  I almost stopped short when I came in.  It’s her again!  I have been sharing rides with this woman for weeks now!  And each and every single time my reaction had been always the same – more like my dick’s reaction.  Just my luck!  I’d be getting a hard on that I wouldn’t be able to ignore.

She’s wearing that perfume again, and I felt my cock harden a bit more.  Now I’m one sick pervert – lusting over this girl.  I have for weeks now ever since that first elevator ride we shared weeks ago.

Suddenly, there was a harsh, metallic grinding noise from somewhere high above.  The elevator jerked sharply again and then dropped further and stopped short and sent her toppling forward into my arms.

“Ouch!  Sorry.” She apologized.

“It’s okay.”  I told her.  Damn her perfume!  I held her to help steady her.  I felt my cock twitch.

And then the lights went out.  Shit!  This can’t be happening.  I can’t be trapped inside this elevator with this girl!

“Fuck!”  I swore.  I had to let her go.  With her in my arms, she’d notice my hard on.  Nakakahiya!  “I can’t believe this is happening to us!”

“I’ve actually heard stuff like this happen.  But never to me.  Oh well, there is always a first for everything.”  I heard her say.  She actually sounded calm about it, and I felt like a wuss for panicking.

“Ano ba naman yan?  Do they even know there are people inside this fucking elevator?!!”  I reached into my pocket for my phone.  No signal.  “Fuck!”

The elevator moved for a few seconds and that made her lose her balance as she toppled against me, again.

“Are you okay?”  I asked her this time in what sounded like a worried tone.  I held her by the shoulders.

“Yes.  Sorry.”  She started to apologize.

“Well, it really looks like we’re screwed.”  I told her.  I should let her go, but I found myself pulling her closer.

“I’m sure they know we are trapped inside this thing and are doing their best to get us out.  Sana.”  She replied in what I thought was a breathless tone.

“What do you propose we do in the meantime?  It certainly looks like we’ll be stuck in here ng matagal pa.”  I wanted to kiss her.  If I do, will she slap me?  Or kiss me back?

“I -- ”  She started to say but I stopped her with a kiss.  I felt her soft lips.  Nagulat sya but she gave in and kissed me back.  We kissed for almost a minute or maybe longer, our tongues meeting in the dark.

She stopped kissing me and tried to push me back.  “What the hell was that for?”

I might as well be honest and tell the truth.  “Sorry.  Matagal ko nang gustong gawin yun eh.  Ever since I first saw you inside this elevator weeks ago.”

I couldn’t see her face dahil madilim, but I knew nagulat sya sa sinabi ko.  “It’s all right.  No one will ever know.  It’ll be our little secret.”  I told her as I caressed the side of her face.  I pulled her closer and let her feel the bulge of my crotch.  I feel like a pervert.  I don’t care anymore.  I want her.

I want her so bad.  I want to fuck this woman.  And I am hoping she will say yes.

“Okay then,” I heard her say before she kissed me back.  If my cock could talk, I swear it would’ve shouted hurrahs.

We both fumbled in the darkness.  Skirt.  Good.  My hands were suddenly on her butt as we kissed.  I bet she is so wet right now.  And I couldn’t help but find out so pinasok ko yung isa kong daliri sa loob ng palda nya, inside her panties, and inside her pussy.

Just as I suspected, she was so wet!  "Oh my, baby... Basang-basa ka na.."

She moaned softly and surprised me by grinding her pussy into my hand.  "Kanina pa.  You turn me on."

"Shit baby... Basang basa puke mo.  Finger fuck kita ha."  I told her and I probed two of my fingers inside her wetness.  In and out.  In and out.  A slow, steady pace.

"Ohhh..  Ang sarap naman ng fingers mo.  Oh god!  Don't stop."  Shit!  Ang ingay nya.  Just my kind of girl.

She surprised me when she reached down and cupped my cock.  “Ang tigas na!”  And I almost came with excitement.

She started rubbing my hardness.  I continued finger fucking her.  I can’t wait to taste her.  To have my tongue inside her pussy and taste that wetness.  I will have her.  I will fuck her.

She started fumbling with the zipper of my pants.  "You want my cock baby?  Matigas na titi ko.  It's all for you."  I whispered in her ear as I drove my two fingers inside her eager pussy yet again.  Ungol lang narinig ko na response.

When she finally had my cock in her hand, she kissed me.  Hard.  While she played with my cock head.  Oh shit!  If she doesn’t stop doing that right now, I’m going to make a mess.  Sa kamay nya!

I pulled her skirt up.  "You want my cock inside you, baby?"  I gave her a choice.  "Pili ka.  Do you want to cum with my fingers?  Or my cock?”

"Cock..." Ang sagot nya. "I want that cock."  Oh god!  Just the answer I needed to hear.

In an instant, I took her panties off and grabbed her other leg and wrapped it around my waist.  I have to get inside her.  I need my cock to be inside her now.  I need to feel her pussy walls.  Without any warning, I pushed my cock right into her wet cunt.

I sighed.  She almost screamed.  With pleasure.  "Oh my god! Ang sarap ng titi mo."

Oh god!  The sensation of feeling her pussy walls contract around my cock was just too much.  Deeper into her my cock went.  Deeper and deeper.  Shit!  Ang sarap!

"Ang basa! Ang dulas! Ang sarap ng puke mo baby."  I couldn’t help but say.

We rammed into each other.  She met my every thrust, and each and every thrust I made into her wet pussy hit her G-spot resulting in an almost constant orgasm.  It was like none of us cared that we were fucking inside the elevator.  This sex frenzy is making us not care if the lights came back on or the elevator start working again.  All we cared about was each other.  This.

"Sige lang baby. Don't stop fucking me. Ang sarap ng titi mo!!!!"  She was nearly screaming.

"Yes baby.  Di kita titigilan.  Ang sarap mong kantutin."  I picked up the pace this time.  We were both grunting and moaning as our climaxes approach.

And then I made one final long thrust as we both reached a heart-shattering, mind-blowing full body orgasm.  Oh my god!

"Damn.  That was good."  I finally managed to say.  "I hope it was good for you."

"It was.  Better than good.  Probably the best I ever had."  I heard her sigh.  The best she ever had?  I felt my cock twitch again with that remark,

As if on cue, the elevator lights flashed back on, and the elevator suddenly lurched back into motion.  We disentangled ourselves.  I couldn’t face her.  I gave her a bit of privacy as she straightened her clothes up.  It should feel awkward, but I didn’t feel that at all.  I want her.  I still do, and I don’t want whatever this is between us to just start and end here.  I have made up my mind.

The elevator stopped at the 24th floor, and the elevator doors opened.  I started to step out then held the elevator door with one hand.  I turned to her, held out my other hand and said, “You coming?”

“It takes so much out of me to pretend
Tell me now, tell me how to make amends.”

“So let me get this straight….”  Bry started to say.  I just told him about Rem.  “You had an affair with another girl while you were with Meg?”

“I just told you, Bry.”

“But Meg’s perfect!  I find it hard to believe that you had an affair.”

“Buddy, don’t be so obtuse about it.  Meg is perfect but our relationship wasn’t.  You know why I went out with her in the first place – to secure the account with her father’s company.  It just so happened that we were well suited for each other, but there was no love there.  At least not a real one anyway.”

Bry went quiet.  He must’ve been digesting everything I have told him.

“So where is Rem now?”

“I honestly don’t know, Pare.  I tried looking for her.  I even asked if she left a forwarding address pero wala.  No one knows where she went.”

“But you love her right?  I mean, obviously, di ka magkakaganyan if you don’t love the girl.”

“I do and I have to make things right with her.”

“How are going to do that if you can’t find her?”

“I don’t know, but I have to do something.  I just need to find her.”


HALF-LIFE (Back to Black Reverse) Part 1

AUTHOR'S NOTE: It was a few months back that I wrote BACK TO BLACK -- the story of Joe and Rem. I have been meaning to write it in Joe's perspective. I got around to writing the first few parts and shelved it far longer than I wanted. Over the last couple of days, I have started writing again and decided to work around Joe's story line.

Oh, it's not that I am running out of stories to tell that I had to write a REVERSE of what I had already posted. There are always two sides of a story, right?


I'm awake in the afternoon
I fell asleep in the living room
And it's one of those moments
When everything is so clear

“I can’t wait any longer.” I heard her say.

We were both in my car and driving on the way to Mezza Residences where we both live. Different floors of course – same tower.

“Babe, it won’t hurt if we wait just a few minutes more --” I started to say, but she cut me off by unzipping my crotch and taking my cock out. Damn this girl! I actually felt my cock harden with her touch – harden and grow in anticipation.

“At least, let me give you a sneak preview of what’s to come? Ayaw mo?” She said as she smiled and gave me a flirty wink while she squeezed the head of my cock in her hand. I looked at her face and smiled. How can I say no to that?

“Alam mo namang I wouldn’t be able to resist that mouth of yours. It’s even happy to see you. Look.” I told her as I guided her head towards my cock – the tip of my cock glistening – precum forming. She gave my cockhead a lick tasting my precum, and I almost slid off my car seat. “Tease!” I laughed. “Are you sure you want to do this while I drive?” I asked her again. She answered by taking my cock in her mouth.

“Ohhhhh, shit. I love your mouth.” I couldn’t help but say. She was stroking my dick with her tongue. I wanted to stop the car right then and there and fuck that mouth of hers – get the full length of my hardness inside that mouth deep.

It’s a good thing my car’s heavily tinted. No one can see what she was doing inside the car. If they could see us right now, if they could see her right now, it would be one scandalous sight!

And when she took all 7 inches of me her mouth, the sensation was too much that I wanted to close my eyes and just forget about driving.

This girl is going to be the death of me!


“Pare! You need to wake up!” The voice sounded deep and real. The voice sounded familiar. I’m having the blow job of my life in my car while I drive, and I could hear my best friend’s voice! This can’t be right, right?

“Joe! Dude, you need to wake up.”

“What the…?” Napabalikwas ako ng bangon. I noted I was lying on the floor. I don’t even remember sleeping on the floor.

Was it all a dream? I could’ve sworn it felt real. Well I know it happened before. The memory of it still fresh in my mind like it only happened moments ago.

“What are you doing in here?” I asked him. I looked around. The curtains were drawn up, empty beer bottles on the floor, a box of leftover pizza on the sofa – my condo’s a big mess. My best friend was tidying up and picking up the beer bottles one by one.

“I should be asking you that question. Why are you sleeping on your living room floor?”

“I don’t remember.” I told him admittedly. “What time is it?”

“It’s 2 pm dude! I have been calling you up all morning. We had a client lunch meeting. You didn’t show up. I had to check if you were breathing.”

“Client meeting? But that won’t be until tomorrow, right?”

“Joe, that’s today! Do you even know what day it is?”

“God, it slipped my mind.” I started to get up but my knees failed me and I almost slipped back down on the floor. My best friend hurried to support me. “Thanks dude.” I had to sit on the sofa. My head hurts.

Bry sat beside me. “What’s up with you? You haven’t been yourself for 2 weeks now.”

I just kept quiet. Had it been really 2 weeks? I felt it was longer than that. I became more aware of my surroundings. It definitely looked like my pad hadn’t been cleaned for 2 weeks now.

“You are not the same person I knew, Joe. In the 20+ years that I have known you, I haven’t seen you like this. Two weeks ago, you weren’t like this! Two weeks ago, you were engaged to Meg! Two weeks ago, you looked happy! What happened?”

I haven’t told anyone about Rem, not even my best friend Bry. I guess now would be the good time to tell him.

Before the truth goes back into hiding
I want to decide 'cause it's worth deciding
To work on finding something more than this fear
It takes so much out of me to pretend
Tell me now, tell me how to make amends

Four months ago

I was running late. Meg would be furious. I had to double check if I had my keys in pocket and double check if I locked the door. I pressed the down button hoping that the elevator won’t make me wait that long. I really don’t want to deal with a very impatient girlfriend. I checked my phone – 10 new messages, all from Meg I’m sure. Just as I was about to send her a quick reply, the elevator door opened. Meg will have to wait a few minutes more.

I went inside the elevator and noted only one other passenger. She smiled when she saw me – a big smile that almost knocked my breath out of me and I felt something down there harden.

What the fuck?! One sweet smile and my cock hardened – what sort of voodoo is this?

I fought the urge of smiling right back at her. I caught a faint scent of her perfume. She smelled nice. All woman. My dick hardened a bit more, and I started to fidget in my place. Thank god she wouldn’t be able to see my hard on! Nakakahiya. This is the first time in my life that I felt like I was claustrophobic and I wanted to get out and get away from her.

When the elevator doors opened, I hurried myself out. To hell with being a gentleman, I need fresh air. I need to forget her perfume. My phone vibrated. I looked at the screen. Meg is calling. I need to get to Meg.


THE CALL (Next Part)

Author’s Note:  Here is the second part of THE CALL.  I hope you guys like it.


I hear him clear his throat and then say, “Hey babe?  Have you ever wanked on all fours?”

“All fours?”

“Yes all fours.”

“I don’t think I have had the pleasure of doing that.”  And the thought of doing something that he suggested I do excited me more.

“So let’s try something different this time.”

“Hmmmmn…  Okay.  I am open to that one.”  This is going to be something else.

“I wish I could see you do it though.”  He wasn’t asking, but somehow that sounded like a request.

“Not a chance, buster!”  I had to laugh.  He had seen me play on cam before though, but this time I won’t be giving him that much.  I’ll have to save it for later - much, much later – to make him want me more and to keep him interested.

“And here I thought I could make you say yes to anything.”  He knows it.  I know it.

“I have to draw a line somewhere.  I am not your cam whore, perve.”  I laughed.

“Your laugh’s sexy, gorgeous!  Why is it that hearing your laugh is making my cock harden all the more?”  He admitted.

Kinilig naman ako dun!  I blushed.  I had to blush.  Isn’t that a compliment?  “Hey!  Are we doing it or what?”

“We are.  We are.  My cock’s eager and waiting.”  Tumawa sya.

“And my pussy’s creaming.”  Sagot ko naman.

“We made a rhyme!”

“Indeed.  So all fours, right?  Wait…  I need to get naked.”  I was about to get out of bed to get rid of what I was wearing when he stopped me.

“No.  Don’t.  You’re dressed down just fine.  Much exciting to do you scantily clad than fully naked.”

“Okay… You’re the boss.”  I conceded.

“I’m imagining you right now... you’re on all fours… that wonderful ass up in the air… I would love to see that big ass of yours.  Get two pillows for your head to rest on and for support, gorgeous.  Your hands would be busy in a bit.”

Just hearing him talk like that, hearing his voice, makes me hornier and my pussy cream all the more.  I positioned two of my pillows on top of each other.  Suddenly, an idea struck me.

“Hey handsome, would you mind a bit of a detour first before we do the all-four thingie?”

“Hmmmn… What do you have in mind?”

“You are making me so horny with just talking to you.  I want to ride my pillows, imagining I am riding you.  I want to cum.”

“Oh that sounds exciting!  Shit ka.  Lalo mong pinatigas titi ko dun.  Are you all set now?  What I’d give to see you ride your pillows.”

“Teka, I need my earphones.”  I grabbed my earphones from my bedside table and connected them to my phone and put them on my ears.  I set the phone down on the bed.

“All set.  Hear me clearly?”  I asked him.

“Yes!  Loud and clear.”

I straddled my pillows positioning myself on top of them.  “I am straddling my pillows as we speak.  I wish I was straddling you instead, handsome.”

“I wish it was too.  But for now, we’ll make this work.  Just imagine it, gorgeous.  I’d be lying beneath you.  So hot and horny for you as you are for me.  My hands will be on your tits.  Teasing your hard nipples.  They are hard now, right?”

“Hmmmn.. Oh yeah!  Rock hard, handsome.  Want to suck them off for me?”

“I’ll bite them too.  I know how much you like me doing that.”

“Oh I do!  You know I do!”  I was pinching both of my nipples now, my hands under my tank top, rubbing my nipples between my thumb and my long finger on both sides – loving the sensation it creates.  I actually could feel my pussy dripping wet.  So wet.

“Oh you must be so wet right now, baby.  Basa na ba pussy mo?”

“Super.  Creaming.  Just the way you like it.  I want to fuck you.  I want that hard cock moving in out of me – fucking me fast… and hard… and deep… Will you fuck me senseless?  Ang sarap siguro ng titi mo if it’s inside me now.”

“So come on and ride me, gorgeous.  Feel my hard cock in you – stretching your pussy muscles.  Fully accommodating my cock in your tight pussy.”

“Oh yes!  I like the feel of having you inside me – the feel of that hard dick.  Oh shit baby!  Fuck me.”  I was slowly rubbing my pussy against the pillows now.  My clit’s tingling.  I moved and rubbed my clit over the pillow yet again and set tingles of pleasure.  That felt so good!  I moaned.

“Ride that pillow hard and fast, gorgeous!  I want you cumming for me.  I want you screaming my name when you cum.  Shit ka!  My cock’s so hard right now.  The head is swollen.  I wish you could see it.  I wish your mouth’s on it.  Ang sarap sigurong kantutin ang bibig mo while you hump your pillow.”

I’m humping my pillows hard and fast now.  I felt so fuckingly wanton.  I wanted to cum.  Hard and fast.  And cum again and cum again.

“Are you close?  It sounds like you are.  I love the way you moan, babe.  Come on and cum for me.  Fuck those pillows like crazy.”

“Yes…. I… am… so… close…”  I was nearly out of breath.  “So… close…”

I pinched my nipples hard.  It was like riding my way to the finish line.  And I am itching to get myself to the finish line.

I was moaning like crazy now and I couldn’t hear what he was saying over the phone.  I had one goal – and that’s to climax and I feel it’s just a few seconds away.

With my back arched, I rubbed my clit over my pillow one final time and twisted my hard nipples in my fingers as I screamed his name in ecstasy as my orgasm overtook me.

And I got my panties and pillows wet with my juices.

----- TO BE CONTINUED -----

THE CALL (First Part)

He stroked his hands down my inner thighs.  Thinking he meant to stroke or finger me, I parted my legs slightly.  I was stunned when he leaned forward and began planting kisses on my pussy.  I have never had that done to me before!  None of my lovers had ever kissed my pussy and the sensations his mouth aroused in me are incredible!  My pussy juices were flowing.

He touched the tip of his tongue to my clit and flicked at it and I felt bolts of pure lust through me.  I moaned, loud and felt my body tremble.  He licked at my pussy, dipped the tip of his tongue inside me, at the top of my cunt.  I felt my knees quiver as I let out another load moan.

“Like that?”  He asked.

“Oh my god!  Yes.”  I said almost breathless.

He inserted two fingers inside my and fucked my pussy with it while he kissed and nipped at my clit.

“Oh my god!”  I couldn’t think straight.  That tongue.  Those fingers.  It’s driving me crazy!  I felt my juice flow over his fingers.

“I want you inside me.”  It was a plea.

I am not the person who is singing.  I am the silent one inside.  I am not the one who laughs at people’s jokes.  I just pacify their egos.”

Teka, was that my phone?

Naalimpungatan ako.  Shit!  It was all a dream but my nipples are as hard as pebbles and my pussy is so wet that my panties are soaked.  Parang totoo.

My phone was ringing.  I have Paula Cole’s “Me” as my ringing tone.  I reached out for my phone on my bedside table.  I felt the phone vibrate in my hand.  I didn’t even bother to see who was calling because at the back of my mind I knew who it was.  I know it was him.


“Hello gorgeous!” said the deep voice on the other end of the line.  I smiled.  My heart skipped a beat, my nipples hardened a bit more, and my clit tingled with anticipation.  Sinasabi ko na nga ba eh!

“Hello handsome!”

Gorgeous and handsome – that’s how we call each other.

“Did I wake you?”  He asked me.

I laughed.  “What time is it na ba?”

“It’s 1 in the morning.  I figured you were sleeping.”

“You figured right and yet tumawag ka pa din.  You just got home?”

“Yeah.  I was out with friends.  I had a few drinks.  I’m not drunk-dialing you ha.  Just a bit tipsy.  You weren’t on YM so I decided to give you a call.  I’ve missed you.  We haven’t talked or chatted for days!”

He misses me!  Now that made my heart skip a few beats.

“Aha!  Now there’s the reason for the call.  You freely admit you miss me and I didn’t even force, coerce, bribe, or threaten you to say it.”

“Oh come on now, Babe.  You know I do miss you. ”

“Yeah right.”  But I wanted to say, “I know that but I like hearing you say it anyway.”

“Believe me babe.  In fact, there is this one part of me that misses you a lot!”

Arggh.. Typical male pero for some strange reason ‘kinilig’ ako.

“A hard part?”

He laughed.  “Yeah.”


He laughed even harder.  “Oh definitely!”

I laughed back.  “So it’s hard now?”

“Oh yeah it is.  I had to wank kahapon when I woke up.  I had this huge hard on.  I tried calling you, but I couldn’t reach you sa phone.  I missed hearing your sultry voice and your moans.”

“Awww!  Sorry baby.  I had to leave early for work.  I had an early meeting kasi.  I flicked my bean earlier before I went to bed.  I felt like I needed to de-stress.”

“Really.  Tell me about it.  Naked?”

“Yeah, I was naked.”

“Hmmmmn.   On the bed?  Were you lying down?”

“Yeah on my bed.  I was lying down.”

“Wow!  I wish I could’ve seen that, babe.  I would have been a sight to behold.  Did you cum?  How many?”

“Twice.  It helped me sleep.”

“Two times lang?  Bitin ka nun for sure.  I know you.”

“You know me too well.  Yeah, bitin…  Pero it was enough to get me to sleep.”

“How about it babe?  You want to play?”

“If there’s a hot, hard man available, I wouldn’t say no.”

“Well, here’s one hot, hard man just as you ordered.  Yours for the taking.”

“Just the way I like it.”  I licked my lips as I imagined him in my mind.  Oh if only he was near!  I would’ve wanted him beside me rather than hearing him over the phone.

“So…  What are you wearing right now?”

“Just my tank top and panties.”

“Sexy T-back?”

“You said it.  You know how I like wearing them.”

“Oh yes!  You like how it shows off your buns and how it rides up your butt crack and the sensation it creates on your butt crack every time you move.”

That made me smile.  Funny how he knows me too well!

“You make it sound as if I am some sort of a pervert!”

“My very own sex pervert!  I like how that sounds even better.”

“A pervert for a pervert?”

“Oh yeah.  Definitely.  Are you in the mood to play?”

“Hmmmn..  I am and even if I wasn’t I know you would get me in the mood.”

“I can.”

“Oh wipe that silly grin off your face.  I know you are grinning.”

“But it is true anyway.”  He laughed again.  I hear him clear his throat and then say, “Hey babe?  Have you ever wanked on all fours?”

“All fours?”

“Yes all fours.”

“I don’t think I have had the pleasure of doing that.”  And the thought of doing something that he suggested I do exited me more.

“So let’s try something different this time.”

“Hmmmmn…  Okay.  I am open to that one.”  This is going to be something else.

----- TO BE CONTINUED -----

Sunday, December 4, 2011

UNTITLED (The Next Part)

"So what do I tell the man that I love who doesn’t know what I feel?”  I started to say.

I smiled at him as if he could see my smile.  “I could tell you how my day went or I could tell you what’s on the news right now.”

“But I would rather tell you how much I miss you.  Of how much I miss us.”  My eyes welled up and my tears fell on their own accord.

“I really do want you to be happy and I know you are – with her.  But watching you with her, Rick, it is killing me.  And I couldn’t believe I just said that out loud!”  I didn’t really want to cry, but I couldn’t help myself.

“And I know… I know that saying this might make me the worst person in the world, but she is not your soul mate.”  I wanted to touch his face.

“I am, Rick.  I am your soul mate.”  I kissed his hand and held it close to my face as I closed my eyes.  I love this man so much!  And I feel my heart bleed for him, for me, and for us that will never be.


One Day Ago

Hello, tell me you know
Yeah, you figured me out
Something gave it away
It would be such a beautiful moment
To see the look on your face
To know that I know that you know now

Sheesh!  Why are they playing this song?  I said to myself.  I have nothing against Jason Mraz really, but this song hit close to home – of friendship and unrequited love – of my unrequited love.

I just arrived at our usual coffee shop.  I was 30 minutes early, which was really a first for me.  I am usually fashionably late.  Not that Rick minded anyway.  And I could still remember just how excited I was when I got a voicemail from him earlier.

“Hey Reg!  This is Rick.  I’ve been trying to reach you for hours.  Are you free for coffee later?  Would love to see you.  Same place?  6 pm?  I’ll be expecting you, you hear?  I won’t be taking no for an answer.  I need to tell you something.

I’ve listened to that voicemail message over and over and again and got overly excited.  I rummaged my closet, and it took me awhile to pick what to wear.

I laughed at myself.  I feel like I was a schoolgirl going out on her first date!

He wanted to tell me something.  That line got to me.  So tonight’s the night – a night of revelations – tonight I will finally tell him.

“How long, can I go on like this,
Wishing to kiss you,
Before I rightly explode?
This double life I lead isn't healthy for me
In fact it makes me nervous
If I get caught I could be risking it all”

Two years – two whole years of loving him in silence.  I jealously watched the girls coming in and out of his life but relished on the fact that I was the only girl constant in his.

And I wonder, how do you start a conversation that could possibly alter your life forever?

And then out of the corner of my eye, I saw him.  Even from a distance, I knew it was him.  That my heart recognized his presence was no surprise.  I am in love with this man after all.

He smiled and gave me a wave, and my heart skipped a beat.  I flashed him a smile and waved back.  I noted how my fingers were shaking.  I can do this!  I assured myself.  This is a piece of cake!

“Wow.  You are early.  Have you been waiting long?”  He said as he neared our table and gave me a quick peck on the cheek.

“Two years…”  I suddenly said.  Sheesh!  Way to go Reg!

“What was that?”  I almost sighed with relief.  Good thing he didn’t catch that.

“Oh nothing!  What are you having?  I already ordered my coffee and cheesecake.”

“Oh yeah!  Cheesecake.  You don’t mind sharing, right?”  And he flashed me that killer grin of his.  My heart skipped a double beat.  “Wait… I’ll get myself some hot choco.  I will be right back.”

And there goes my guy…  I watched him approach the counter with a smile on my face.

“Well all I really wanna do is love you
A kind much closer than friends use
But I still can't say it after all we've been through
And all I really want from you is to feel me
As the feeling inside keeps building
And I will find a way to you if it kills me
If it kills me”

“I need to tell you something.”  Funny how we both said the same thing at the exact same time.  We both laughed.

I was halfway through my coffee now.  I had a few fork bites of the cheesecake, but I ordered it mainly for him.  I knew it was his favorite.

“You first.”  He told me.

“No, you go first.  Mine can wait.”  This is it!

“Okay.  I have been wanting to tell you this for months!”

“Really?”  The moment that I have been waiting for!

“Yes.”  He reached for my hands and held them both in his.  “You know we have been friends for a long time, and you know how much I value our closeness.”

He squeezed my hands.  I smiled eagerly at him.

“Reg, I want to ask you something…”

“Go ahead…”  My heart was beating fast.

“Will you be my best man?  Or in your case, my best woman?”

Yes!  Yes!  Finally!  No, wait…  That doesn’t seem to be right.  I realized I must’ve heard it wrong.  “Wait…  What?”

“I’m proposing.  To Karen.”  Proposing?  To Karen?  He’s getting married?  Suddenly I felt my heart break a thousand times.

“She doesn’t know yet.  I’m so excited to tell her and nervous at the same time ----”

He continued talking.  I can barely hear what he was saying.  He is getting married.  That line seemed to echo in my head.

“So will you, Reg?  Please say yes!”

He is getting married to another woman, and he wants me to be by his side when he does?  What the fuck?!

“No!”  I blurted out loud.  I took my hands away from his.  I can’t do this!

“What?  Reg?”  I looked at Rick.  He looked so lost and confused.

“I’m sorry.   I can’t do this right now.  I have to go.”  And I didn’t wait for him to reply.  I just stood up, grabbed my bag, and walked away.  Fast.

Oh my god!  How could I have been so stupid?!  And here I thought…

I heard Rick call my name from behind me, but I was too involved in getting away.  I went out of the cafĂ© fast really intent on not talking to him.

I’m so stupid!  I’m such a fool!  I thought it was me.  I thought finally…  And my tears finally fell.

“Reg!  Wait up!”  I heard him shouting.  I wiped out my tears with my hand.  I can’t let him catch up with me.  I can’t face him.  Not now.

I ran to avoid the cars in the busy street in an attempt to get to the other side.

“Reg!”  There was frustration in his voice but no I am not dealing with him right now.

Suddenly, I heard a loud screeching sound and someone screaming “Look out!”

That made me turn around just in time to see Rick – my Rick – getting hit by a car!  “Rrrriiiiicccccckkkkk!!!”  I screamed aloud.  In a split second, he was lying on the concrete.  I rushed to his side.  “Oh my god, Rick!  Oh my god!”

Police arrived at the scene.  I heard a policeman telling me the paramedics will be arriving in a few minutes.

“This is all my fault!  I am so sorry!  I am so sorry.”  I wish he could hear me.  With tears streaming down my face, I held Rick’s hand and prayed.