Tuesday, May 8, 2012


Happy Birthday. I didn’t want to wake you. I figured you were tired with all the pounding that happened last night. I’ll be back by 10 AM to pick you up. Hopefully, you’d be all set by then. Don’t make me wait.” This was from the note that he left on the dining room table right next to the flowers, the chocolates, and a big rectangular box.

“Happy Birthday to me.” I greeted myself. The box – there can only be three things inside it. Jewelry. Dress. Lingerie. Or all of the above. And if my instincts are correct, he will be expecting I wear all three today.

Today, I turn 35. Yes… Thirty and five years of existence. Not 25 and definitely not 15. As I walked around my condo, I caught a glimpse of my reflection. I stopped and scrutinized myself closely. The fact that I look younger than most women who are of my age is a blessing. I have been called beautiful one too many times that I no longer believe it when they say I am. What is beauty anyway?

My perception of life is more real than it was 10 years ago, let alone 20 years ago. With everything that I have observed and personally experienced, I know I live with a realistic view rather than a fairy tale dream.

I have met plenty of men – married men mostly. I think I should mention I used to be in the escort business for 10 years. Men. It’s better not to overanalyze them. Men and me. Some just wanted to lay there naked and talk. Some wanted to try to fuck me silly. Others wanted to do something sexually specific with me. And some just wanted to relax and not be nagged and to forget about ‘life’ for just a moment. I could handle all of that simply because cash was handed to me and I needed it.

As for sex? I like sex. Heck, I love sex. I think about sex all of the time. It’s what got me into the escort business anyway. I want to be fucked, and men want to fuck me. I have embraced this side of me like I exuded with a ‘come fuck me’ scent. I don’t know if I have a certain look, but I actually love the idea of men wanting to fuck me and of wanting to pay to fuck me. It doesn’t bother me like it used to. I have come to accept that I am one lustful creature, and it is perfectly fine. Once I quit chasing love a long, long time ago, it became apparent to me who I really am inside.

I am so glad that I have been in a coldblooded state of mind for years now because I can truly enjoy having really amazing sex without all of the emotions that would usually come along with it.

And being the “other woman” is a role I think I can do fairly well. I mind the rules. I stay out of the way, and basically I am there with arms wide open and legs widespread with an eager pussy and a waiting mouth when he needs me. I guess the cash separates the feelings of guilt. Some days I can’t tell if I am just bitter or simply soulless. Other days, I don’t care as long as I get what I want. So I guess it is a pretty neat arrangement and it works out well for the most part.

Being an escort was more like “the other side of me.” I had a ‘regular’ life that doesn’t revolve around me being naked and getting fucked. I actually had a real career. I used to work as an editor/proofreader. Being an escort is not what I ‘do’. It is more of a fetish if anything. That is what I think. I mean the more I think about it the more I want to do it based on the simple fact that men are willing to pay me thousands just to touch me or have me touch them. And the fact that I get to pick and choose who I allowed to pay me and fuck me is awesome.

In my quest to finding a good lover to fulfill my shallow needs (money) and my sexual desires, I met Luc. Luc is a divorced, 40-year-old very rich and successful businessman. That first night right after a steamy fucking session, he offered me a proposal. To be his mistress and he will take care of me and everything that I need. I have had offers like that before from married men – young and old – and I have always said no. It’s one thing to be an escort. It’s another thing to be a kept woman – to just be with one guy, but he made a pretty much interesting case about it and I ended up saying yes before the night ended. Stipulations were made. A contract was drawn and signed. And here I am a year later.

Luc is one great lover. I have no complaints. Have you ever been fucking someone and it got so heated that your heart feels like it was going to burn up in your chest? Where you thought your head was going to explode? Where you feel like you were both going to spontaneously combust? I feel that with Luc every single time.

Last night, my pussy was so worked up by him that I felt like it was on fire. Not a bad burning sense but it was the same feeling that I feel in my chest and head when I am extremely turned on and at the highest point of ecstasy. I was still throbbing 2 hours later and he was asleep. I was still so fucking horny that I had to ride him and fulfill my desire.

I was so deep into it. I wasn’t sure how much more I could handle. It was fucking crazy. It’s not something that can be explained. The sex with Luc - it’s all I ever wanted. Just to be left trembling, drooling, and slightly embarrassed from being out of control for a moment in time and then feeling childlike when left with the anticipation of when I’ll get to see him again and fuck him again.

I never wanted to be a kept woman. But I am her. And I am no longer naive enough to think I’d find love at the bottom of the barrel no matter if the barrel is made of gold and lined with diamonds.

I checked the time. It was almost 9 AM. I have to go and get ready for my man.

UNINVITED - Part Three


Dinner reservations. You know where. 6 PM.

I love you. R.

Our anniversary.  Today’s our anniversary.  It would’ve been our 3rd year of marriage – if we are still together, that is.  I made the reservations 3 months ago.  It was our favorite restaurant – first date, his proposal, first year anniversary – almost every special occasion we celebrated as a couple we did there.

I checked my watch.  It’s 4:30 PM. Knowing how particular Jace is with time, I know he would be there by 5:30.  If I hurry, I can be there before 6 PM.  I stripped down and headed to the shower.


February 14, 2008

“Babe...  I need to make a call.  I’ll be right back.”  Jace whispered in my ear.  I smiled at him and nodded.  He kissed me on the forehead before he stood up and left.

We were having our annual Valentine’s Day “party” with a couple of friends in an acoustic bar.  Tara, my closest female friend in the group was sitting beside me with her husband Norm.  She was glowing, as most pregnant women do.

“How far along are you?”  I asked Tara.

“Nearly three months.  I am so excited!”  Tara smiled and I reached for her hand and squeezed it.

“You, my friend, are going to be one great mom.”  I told her.

Norm and three other male friends excused themselves from the group.

“Where are the guys going?”  I asked Tara.

Before Tara could answer the lights in the bar dimmed.

“Performance night.”  I heard one of our girlfriends say and she winked at me.

“Good evening everyone.”  A deep nervous voice I recognize said over the microphone.

“Jace??!”  He was on the stage with the guys.  “What are they doing?”  I asked loudly.  The girls just smiled at me.

“Oh my god.”  Jace.  He was on the stage.  Is he going to sing?  He doesn’t sing in public.  In fact, he never sang in public.

“This is for you, Rein.”  He looked my way and grinned sheepishly.

And I heard the familiar opening strains of the song.

It's her hair and her eyes today
that just simply take me away
and the feeling that I'm falling further in love
makes me shiver but in a good way

My heart just skipped a beat.  I was in awe.  My guy.  My song.  That’s my guy singing my song.  He knew just how I loved this song.  There was one time a few months ago when we were lying next to each other, and he thought I was asleep.  He kissed me on the forehead and sang me this song.  I pretended I was asleep then and just listened to him – my heart overflowing with emotions.  The feeling that I had then was just as intense as the feeling that I am having now.

The girls were teasing me.  I can’t even hear what they were saying.  All I could hear is Jace – my Jace.

It's a masterful melody when she calls out my name to me
as the world spins around her she laughs, rolls her eyes
and I feel like I'm falling but it's no surprise

“Rein!”  I heard Deb say.  “You have to go onstage.”

“Yes!”  Another friend piped in.  “Let’s get her onstage!”

“What?”  I looked at them as they all stood up.  I heard Tara laugh.  “Come on you lucky girl…”  She said as she helped me up.

“I can’t go on stage!”

“But you have to, Rein.  It’s all part of the plan.”  Deb said as she took my arm and led me towards the stage.

“Plan?”  I looked at Deb.  “What plan?”

“Oh shush now…”  Tara said.  “Just go.  Stand beside your man.”  Me?  Go up on stage?  “Go!”  Tara urged.

I just nodded.  I turned my attention to Jace, and I walked towards him.

Coz I love her with all that I am
and my voice shakes along with my hands”
cause it's frightening to be swimming in this strange sea
but I'd rather be here than on land
yes she's all that I see and she's all that I need
and I'm out of my league once again

Jace held out his hand.  I took it.

We were on the stage.  People were watching.  But all I could hear was him.  All I could see was him.  I didn’t even realize the song was over, and he stopped singing until the crowd cheered.

“Are you okay, Babe?”  He was smiling.

“Oh you!”  That was all that I managed to say as I gave him a tight hug.  He laughed and kissed me on the forehead. 

“Okay Buddy.”  Norm said as he and the guys stood up and started to leave.  “The stage is all yours.”

“Good luck!”  They all said in unison with silly grins on their faces.

“Thank you guys!”  Jace told them.

Good luck?  The stage is all yours?  The song?  Is this…?

I couldn’t think.  It was getting hard to breathe normally.  No, it can’t be.

“Jace?”  I looked at him questioningly.

He smiled yet again.  His hands were shaking.  He was nervous about something.

“Rein…”  Is he going to ask me?  Is it today?  Is it now?  But I forced myself to keep quiet.

“Wait…  I have to do this right.”  He went down on one knee.  The crowd cheered.  I was rooted to my spot.

Oh my god!  He is proposing!  I felt my throat gone dry.  My heart…  It felt like it wanted to jump out of my chest.  I placed a hand right over my heart.  A silly attempt to keep it still.

“I love you, Rein.  You’re my best friend, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”  He started to say.

I could feel my tears are about to fall.  This is definitely the moment.

“I guarantee there'll be tough times.  It may come to a point that you’d get frustrated with me and me with you.  But I also guarantee that if I don't ask you to be mine, I'll regret it for the rest of my life because I know in my heart that you're the only one for me.”

“Oh, Jace…”  I whispered.  I was crying – of too much joy.

He got something out of his coat pocket.  I know that ring.  I have seen it before.

“It’s my grandmother’s engagement ring.  She wanted me to give this to the girl I want to spent forever with.”

I’ve seen the ring before when I met his grandmother a few years ago.  It was a ring with a diamond centerpiece surrounded by blue sapphires.  It was an heirloom ring and I know it had been in his family for a long time.

“Marry me, Rein.”  Jace offered the ring to me.  “Be my wife.”

“Jace…”  I sobbed. 

He looked at me expectantly.  Waiting for my answer.

“Rein!  Say yes already!”  I heard Norm shout.

“Oh shut up, Norm.”  That was Tara.

“Yes!”  I blurted out.  Jace stood up and kissed me on the lips.  Hard.  I kissed him back until we both ran out of breath.  The people were clapping and cheering - a standing ovation.

“You know I will say yes.”  I told him.”

He slipped the ring on my finger.  It was a perfect fit.  I couldn’t stop crying.

“I hope these are tears of joy.”  He wiped my tears away.

“They are.”  I held his hands and kissed them.  “You made me so happy.”


He was there sitting at our usual spot.  I checked the time.  It was 5:45.  I was right.  He is never late.

“Babe…”  I called as I neared the table.  He didn’t move.  He didn’t even turn my way.

“Sorry to keep you waiting…”  I said as I kissed him on the cheek.  He acted as if a cool air brushed his skin.  He didn’t say a thing.

I sat down and looked at him.  Cold.  He looks and feels so cold.  I can’t believe things are this worse between us.

“Jace…”  I started to say.

But he ignored me.  I blinked my tears away.  His silence.  His coldness.  It was like I am looking at a different person.  This isn’t the man I love!  This isn’t the man I married!

A stranger –I am staring at a stranger.


“Does that feel good?”  I heard him ask.  I opened my eyes and saw Jace – my Jace – grinning mischievously.  He had his hand underneath my skirt.  His middle finger was teasing my clit – with my panties on!

I almost forgot we’re in a public place!  We were sitting next to each other in our favorite spot in a restaurant.

“Mmmm.”  I nibbled at my lower lip and said, “I think it would be better if you pulled down my panties.”

“Is that so?”

I gave him a lusty wink.  He chuckled softly but didn’t reply.  A moment later, I felt him slip his fingers in the waistband of my panties.  I had to raise myself a bit to allow him to slide my panties down my legs until they were off.

We were in a public restaurant full of people, and we were acting like we had the restaurant to ourselves!  I no longer care.  My thoughts are focused on what he was going to do to me.

I saw him slip my panties in his pocket.  “You’ll get these back when we get home.  Maybe.”

“Touch me.”  I heard myself say.  “I dare you to touch me.”

I know he’d be up to my dare.  If I didn’t feel his fingers on my clit soon I know I’d go crazy.

His mouth curved into a sexy smile.  God!  This man is so sexy, and he is mime.  All mine!  I felt him slide his hand between my legs, and he ran his fingers along my pussy.

I had to suppress the groan that escaped from my lips.  He was looking at me intensely.  The bastard – he was enjoying this as I was.

He found my clit and began to make slow, lazy circles on it.  And I wanted to rotate my hips in time with his movements.  I wanted to grind against his hand but I couldn’t.

I was almost on the verge of coming.  He knows it.  I felt him stop playing with my clit.  I was about to open my mouth to complain only to let out a moan when I felt him slide his finger inside my wet passage.  He was moving his finger in and out, slowly fucking me with it.  I had to stop myself from moaning to loud.  Damn, he is good at this.

“Jace.  Oh god, you are driving me crazy here.”  I whispered.

“Do you want me to stop?”

“No.”  I said abruptly.

“I won’t stop.  Not until I make you come.”  I heard him promise.  I could only moan.

I was getting lost in his touch.  His fingers were absolutely magical.  He knew exactly what to do to get me off.  And considering how aroused I was already, he knew it didn’t take much.

“Oh god… I’m coming!”  I leaned against his shoulder and tried to hide myself from anyone who might see.

“Let it go babe.  Come for me.”  He urged.

I felt ripple after ripple of pleasure emanate from my clit and I let out one long moan half-frustrated that I couldn’t scream or moan out loud.

As my orgasm subsided, he kissed me on the forehead and said, “Happy 2nd Anniversary Babe…”


“Sir, your dinner will be available in 10 minutes.  Do you need anything?”  I heard the waiter tell Jace.

“No.  That is all.”  Jace said dismissively.

And the waiter left us.

My heart – it’s breaking slowly.  I have to reach out to him.  I have to talk to him.  We have to fix this.  I cannot just sit and do nothing about it.  I knew what we have is worth saving.  But how?  He is so withdrawn.

“Happy 3rd Anniversary, Babe.”  I whispered.

He was quiet.  Eerily quiet.  Did he even hear me?  He is acting as if I am not sitting here in front of him.

I was about to reach out to touch his hand when Jace spoke, “I can’t do this.”

And that startled me.  “What do you mean?”  I asked.

“I just can’t keep doing this.  This is torture.”

“What are you saying?”  It can’t be.  He can’t mean it.  And because I really wanted to know even if it hurt me I had to ask him.  “Are you giving up on us?”

But he ignored me and just continued talking, “I can’t pretend like nothing’s happened.  I can’t go on pretending I am okay.”

“Jace, we can save this.  I know we can.”

“I miss you, Rein.”

That did it.  My tears flowed like a river.  “Oh, Jace.  I miss you too!”

He was crying!  My Jace was crying.  “Why did you have to go?  Why did you leave me?”

Go?  Leave?  “What do you mean go?  I didn’t leave.  I’m right here.”

“I miss you so much, Rein…”  He sobbed.

Why can’t he hear me?  I reached out to touch his hand and when my skin touched his, visions flashed through my mind.  It was as if I was transported back in time.

Of me and Jace in the car on our way to a friend’s party.

“We are not done talking, Rein.  We will talk about this when we get home later.”  He was angry.  I could tell he was angry.

“Fine.”  Why is he being so difficult?

My reply must’ve irked him because he turned to me then and said, “Why are you so stubborn?”

“I am not being stubborn, Jace.”  I could feel a headache coming along.  I’m getting tired of this fighting.  “Can we not please talk about this now.”  I massaged my temple in an attempt to get rid of the headache.

“Oh no, Rein.”  His voice getting loud.  “We are talking about this now.  Right now.”  He turned to me then and was about to say something when I saw an old lady crossing the street and we were about to hit her.

“Jace!”  I shouted.  “Look out!”

Jace swerved to the left in an attempt to avoid the old woman but lost control.  I was panicking.  Jace was telling me to relax but I could hear the panic in his voice.  It was as if the car had a mind of its own.  I heard screams from people on the street.  I heard tires screeching.  Everything happened so fast.  And then I blacked out.

I have gone still.  A cold shiver ran through my spine.  The accident.  There was an accident a few weeks ago.  We were having a fight then.  And we hit a lamppost.

I looked at Jace and he held his head low.  Crying, he was still crying.

“My Jace…”

“We have to stabilize her.”  I didn’t recognize the voice.

An ambulance.  I could hear its siren.  I opened my eyes, and I was lying on a gurney. Inside the ambulance.   Blood.  I see blood on my dress.  People.  There were people all around me.  I couldn’t make out what they were saying.  They were talking all at the same time.

“Jace?”  I called out.  My head hurts like hell.  It felt like it was breaking into two.

I felt someone hold my hand.  “Rein…  Thank god.  I’m sorry.  I’m so sorry.”  He was sobbing. He was no longer wearing his jacket.   There was blood all over his white shirt.  Was that his blood?

“Jace, are you hurt?”  My voice sounded weak.  I felt weak.

“Shhh… Babe. . Don’t worry about me.”  He kissed my hand and held it close to his face.  His eyes still wet with tears.  “You’re going to be okay.  Everything’s going to be all right.”

I wanted to believe him.  But why do I feel like it’s not going to be?  I look at Jace – the love of my life – crying beside me.

“I love you, Jace…”  I whispered.

“I love you, Rein.”  He told me.  “Be strong Babe.  Please…”

Be strong.  And I feel so weak.

“I love you so much…”  I told him.  I closed my eyes.

“Rein!  No!!!!”  Jace shouted.

I wanted to open my eyes and look at him one last time but I couldn’t.

“We’re losing her.  We’re losing the patient.”

“Rein, don’t leave me…  Open your eyes babe, please…  Please babe…”  Jace pleaded.  His voice sounding hoarse now.  And I felt his lips as the touched mine.  “I love you, My Rein.”

And the last thing I heard was Jace.

And the last thing I felt was his kiss on my lips.

I died.  The realization finally set in.

I died that night.

--- THE END ---