I’m too much of an asshole right now.
You know it.
Sometimes I’m evil and I treat you like shit. And yet you still stay.
“Why do you stay, D?” I always ask.
“Because you need me.” Was always your reply.
I want to make you mad. Furiously mad.
I want to make you hate me.
To finally drive you away.
I thought I almost did.
I saw the hurt in your eyes.
I could’ve sworn I saw the tears.
And it almost broke my heart to know I have finally done it.
But you turned and looked at me and smiled that sweet smile of yours.
I then realized I had no heart.
And yet I can’t stay away. From you.
I watched you from across the room like a lion eyeing his prey.
You just got out of the shower with just a silk robe covering your naked body.
You were standing by the bed brushing your hair.
You smiled when you saw me looking at you.
I said nothing.
I heard you say something about how nervous you get when I look at you that way—something about how I am too silent, too focused on you, and how you never know what I am thinking.
“Take your robe off.” I say.
You obliged. Like you always do.
You can never say no to me.
I watched as you let the robe open, slide of your shoulders, and fall to floor.
You—in all your naked glory.
Naked and vulnerable.
And all mine.
I felt my cock twitch inside my boxers.
My cock knows you are mine.
You were about to make your move towards me.
“Stay there.” I commanded.
I stood up from where I was sitting and made my way to you.
I managed to take off my boxers along the way.
And we stood in front of each other.
I am staring at your lustful eyes and I say nothing.
I trace the lines of your jaw with my finger.
You love me.
I fucking know that.
You may not have uttered the words but I feel it.
But I don’t want you to feel for me.
It’s too fucking painful.
Painful that I can’t reciprocate.
“Never love a broken man, D.” I wanted to tell you.
Much less a man with no heart to offer you.
Your lips parted.
You want me to kiss you, D?
You crave for my kisses—the kisses that leave you bruised.
The ones where you forget to breathe and your nails bury into my skin and you can’t remember a fucking thing about the moments that just passed.
The kisses where you feel I wanted to eat you alive.
But no kisses this time, D.
I wanted to punish you.
And I’m too much of an asshole to give them to you.
I pushed you to the bed a bit harder than I should have.
You didn’t mind.
You lay down before me, squirming, powerless against my hunger.
With outstretched arms, you even welcome me as I got on top of you.
And because you wanted it—and I wanted it more than anything else—I opened up your wet pussy lips and pushed my cock in.
A sigh escaped from your lips.
A shiver ran down from my spine.
And you say nothing because it is exactly what you wanted.
And you like it when I give you what you wanted.
Skin was everywhere.
You were pressing up against me.
I was pushing you down and holding you there.
Your fingers tangled into my hair.
And I pulled on yours making you bite your lip to keep the sound it from coming out.
I pushed my cock harder into you.
Deeper into your hole.
Teeth graze my neck and a moan escapes my lips.
You tried to pull me closer like you wanted us to become one.
No, I don’t want us closer than we already are.
You’re so close, so close.
I can feel your touch everywhere.
I can’t take it.
I can’t fucking take it anymore.
I’m hungry, and I don’t care anymore.
Hard and deep thrusting.
And finally your pleasure explodes.
And when everything is finished.
You lay there shaking.
And there is nothing more satisfying than hearing your moans of pleasure from what I’ve just done to you.
“My turn, D.”
I pulled my cock out of you and you immediately knew what I wanted.
You pulled up and went on your knees and took all of me inside your mouth.
I know you love having my cock in your mouth.
“Do you taste yourself, D? That’s how your pussy tastes like.”
And all I heard from you were muffled sounds.
You’re my little cocksucker.
I grabbed her hair and pushed your head down deeper until I feel like I was deep in your throat.
You gagged and my cock popped out of your mouth.
But you took it all back inside again.
My knees started to weaken.
I am close.
Your hands travel to the base of my cock,
And you slowly begin a rhythm in sync with your mouth.
“Oh god, D! That feels so good. Don’t stop.”
You’re the perfect little cocksucker with your sweet little mouth and your teasing tongue.
You look up and stared into my eyes while you hungrily sucked on my cock.
I was transfixed.
“Damn, D. You are good!”
I love having your mouth around me like that.
It’s always a pleasure to have your mouth around me like that.
I felt your other free hand grasp my balls and gently massaged with while you continued to suck on my cock.
God, you’re beautiful.
I was lost in the moment.
Lost in the sheer ecstasy of sensations blanking all conscious thought as I pressed your head closer.
My balls drew tight and my cock spasmed.
And then I started filling your mouth with my cum.
Again and again my balls spewed their contents into your eager mouth but you didn’t flinch.
You continued to suck and swallow the entire load.
My eyes were closed by this point.
My grasp on reality stretched to a breaking point.
Slowly I opened them and glanced down to see you still lapping at the tip of my deflating cock as the last dribbles of cum leaked from me.
You lie there next to me with your eyes closed. A faint smile on your face.
Fuck! Why am I this cruel?
There’s only one word to describe you.
One word to crush you.
You’re a fool, D.
You’re a fool for falling for me.
I told you from the very beginning, D. I push people away.
And you went and climbed your way into this sorry life of mine anyway.
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
I should’ve stayed away.
I should’ve but I didn’t.
I got you hooked—on me.
Little by little I am driving you out of your sanity.
You’re a fool, D.
But I’m the biggest fool of all.