Monday, November 7, 2011


I used to think one day we'd tell the story of us
How we met and the sparks flew instantly
People would say, "they're the lucky ones"


“I have been dying for this."  He bent his head down and tongued my nipple.  I moaned and pushed my chest into his mouth.

I felt him slip my dress all the way down.  His thumbs slid into the waistband of my lace underwear and shoved them down my hips.  I now stand fully naked with my back against the wall.

I was sitting in our usual coffee table near the park awaiting his arrival.  Coffee freshly served by the attendant, my iPad in my hand, and I was looking around, observing, watching people.

There was a young couple sitting on the bench absorbed in each other’s presence and paying no heed to everyone else around them.  Yep, that’s love right there.  Oh to be young and in love!

I smiled.

I took a sip of my coffee, and his face suddenly flashed in my mind.  I smiled yet again.  And this seems to be happening lately.  I have been walking around with a smile on my face.  He does that to me.  The mere memory of him brings a smile to my face.

An elderly couple sat on a corner table in front of me.  The man assisted his partner and helped her to her seat.  The woman smiled at him, and I thought I saw a twinkle in her eyes.  He bent down his head and whispered something in her ear.  She laughed and held his hand and kissed it.

That definitely is love!  And I couldn’t help but wish that I too will have that kind of love in my golden years.  To grow old with someone you love, now that’s a feat.

And then I saw him.  Even from a distance, I knew it was him.  That my heart recognized his presence was such a surprise.

He smiled and gave me a wave, and my heart skipped a beat.  I ran my fingers through my hair and hoped I still looked okay.  I flashed him a smile and waved back.

Damn!  I love this man.  That much is true.  I feel like a school girl with the seismic wave-like emotions that threatened to consume me.

As he neared the table, I stood up and straightened my dress and brushed off an imaginary dirt off my shoulder.  “Hi!”  I managed to say to him.
He smiled yet again and gave me a hug – a tight one.  “Have you been waiting long for me?”
And I wanted to answer, “All my life.”

Three months ago…

“Ma’am, here’s the coffee you ordered.”  I heard the female attendant say as she placed the cup of coffee on the table.  I looked up and gave her my thanks.  It’s my third cup for the day, and I have only been sitting here for an hour!

I turned my attention back to my laptop and looked at the screen.  I am stumped.  I don’t know what else to write.  I needed a breather.

I closed my laptop and for the first time in the hour that I have been there I looked around me.

I have been frequenting this coffee shop not only for the great coffee they serve but because of the location.  It’s conveniently located near the park.

I love parks.  It reminds me of my childhood when my dad used to take me to the park and teach me how to ride a bike or Sunday picnics with the family.

I felt a warm breeze brush my skin, heard the laughter of kids running around the park, and the smell of the coffee and I closed my eyes and just took the moment of it all in.  The thought if it all drew a small to my face.

I opened my eyes and saw a camera flash from a short distance.

Did somebody just took my picture?

I strained my neck to see who it was.  He knew I saw him.  Amid the distance, our gazes met.  I raised an eyebrow, and I saw him smile.  He started to walk towards me.

Is he coming over?  It definitely looks like he is.

I pretended to look away and watched the park.

He stopped short as he neared my table.  “Sorry for the intrusion.”  I heard him say.

I looked up to him and just stared.  He was wearing glasses now.  I failed to see that earlier.  He must’ve put it on when I looked away.  His SLR camera hung by his neck.

He must be a photographer or one of those photographer wannabes who think they are professionals just because they own an SLR.

“I apologize for being so forward.”  His long hair was tied.  Nice eyes, I noted – very expressive eyes.  “I couldn’t help it.  I saw you and I suddenly found myself holding the camera and taking your picture.”

I laughed.  “Is that the best pickup line you can come up with?”

He grinned.  “No.  Not a pickup line though it may sound like it.  I’m Max, by the way.”

He extended his hand.  I took it.  “Jem here.  Care to join me?”

He removed his clothes never taking his mouth away from my skin.  He was sucking the pulse point on my neck, he was kissing my chin, he was licking my nipples -- I felt him everywhere and all over me.

He kicked his boxers off and pressed his nakedness against me.  He pinned my wrists above my head with my back arched against the wall, my breasts pushing against his chest, and he slid one thigh between my legs.

There were moments when we were talking as we sit across each other that I wanted to reach out and grab a hold of his hand, look at him straight in the eyes, and tell him how I feel.

But of course, I stopped myself.  I feel a tad bit confused.  I wanted to tell him I loved him but where to start?  Should I just blurt it out loud and say, “Hey, I love you” out of the blue?

And what will he say?

What if he doesn’t feel the same way?

I have known him for a few months now.  This coffee table near the park had been our meeting place.
Every week we would meet – the same time and the same place; a “planned ran into each other” kind of thing.

I finally found someone
who knocks me off my feet
i finally found the one
who makes me feel complete
it started over coffee
we started off as friends
it’s funny how from simple things
 the best things begin

I had to suppress a grin when I heard the first few lines of the song.  This song is sooo US!

He then stood up and surprised me when he held out his hand and said, “May I have this dance?”

That startled me and then I laughed out loud.  “What?  Here?”

He grabbed both my hands and helped me up.  He then guided both my hands to his neck, and we were face to face.  So close.  I could smell his perfume.  “Yes.  You.  Me.  Here.”

My heart melted for the umpteenth time.  Why is it that he utters the most wonderful things with perfect timing?

Oblivious of the curious stares from all the people around us, he held me closer his hands resting behind my back as if he never wanted to let me go.  And I never wanted him to let me go.

This magical feeling no words could ever describe.  This perfect moment I feel no one could ever ruin.  This man – whom I love with all my heart and my soul – with his arms around me – yes, it was bliss.

And so this is love.

I found myself rubbing my wet pussy against his thigh muscles frantically rocking against his leg and he pushed back even harder.

I gasped as I felt his mouth close over one nipple.  His cock was sliding against my thigh - waiting and ready.

He then slid down to his knees and buried his face between my legs.  "No, I want you.  I want your cock."  I protested but he ignored me and slid his tongue right in.

I felt my tears start to fall.  He saw and was about to come near me when I stopped him, “No.  Don’t come near me.”

“You know I can’t stand to see you cry.”

I shook my head no.  “You will have to.  Just for a moment.”

“Jem, please?”

I tried to steady myself and tried blinking back my tears and failed.  “Whatever it is or what we have made together, I told you I will not take more than what you wanted to give me.  I meant that.”

He was quiet, but he was watching me with a pained expression on his face.  “I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

“As did I, Max.”  My heart was bleeding.  I could feel it.  I wanted to hate him, but what good would that do?

“I just wish…”

“Wish what, Max?  You have made your choice.  I do not want to come in between.”  I steadied myself and blinked the tears away to make me see clearly.

“Jem, I am sorry.”

“I am sorry too… that I have come to love you this much but this isn’t going anywhere.”

“Please...  Let me hold you.”

I shook my head no.  I studied him, drawing his image inside my head, my heart – where I would keep it.

I slowly backed away.  I closed my eyes took a deep breath and opened them.  My eyes glittered with fresh tears.  “Have a good life, Max.”

And I started to walk away.

Why are you walking away?  Why are you leaving?  Can’t you see that he needs you right now?  Go back and stand by his side.  Hold his hand.  He could be making a very big decision right now.  Stand by him and tell him you love him.  Fight for your love.

I wanted to go back.  I wanted to turn around and run back to him.  Maybe… Just maybe if I go back to him, he’ll pick me.  Maybe if I… But who am I kidding?

Like the coward that I was, I walked away.  And he didn’t stop me.

He thumbed my clit, rubbing circles on the sensitive nub, his tongue moving in and out.  I felt myself begin to convulse and he slipped two fingers into me and finger fucked my while he sucked on my clit, hard and fast.
I screamed.  Even I myself couldn't make out the sounds I was making.  I came.  Hard against his lips, his tongue, and his fingers.

“I have been flooding my Facebook wall with quotes from "By The River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept" -- a good friend of mine gave me this book as a birthday present a few months ago, little did I know that I would be experiencing almost the same thing that the lead female in the book did.  In my wildest imagination, I never thought I'd be going through that ordeal -- of loving someone who isn't really yours for the taking. But unlike Pilar, quite sadly my story took a different turn.  Alas!  No happy endings were written and Him and Me parted ways.”

I don't know what to say
Since a twist of fate
When it all broke down
And the story of us
Looks a lot like a tragedy now


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