The Prequel: This Girl Sleeps with Butterflies

Author's Note:  I wrote a story based on one of my favorite songs entitled “This Girl Sleeps with Butterflies.” I loved the characters so much that I decided to write a prequel on how it all started between them  - sort of.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I couldn’t get enough of him. I could feel the warmth of his skin beneath his clothes as my hands roamed down his back, then back up his muscular shoulders. But it’s never really enough. I wanted to know the feel of him beneath my fingertips. Skin on skin.

“So, yes or no?” he whispered.

“To what question?” I asked.

“Tonight. This. You and me.”

Ah so now I get it. He was asking me if we could forget about who we are outside of these walls.  He was asking me to make a choice between risking everything I am for this one night... or running scared from it.

“Yes? Or no?” He repeated.

I tried saying yes, but all I could get out was, “You already know the answer to that.”

He shook his head. “I want to hear you say it. I need to hear you say it.”

I licked my lips, opened my mouth and whispered, “Yes.”

That one small word was all that took for him to take me over.  To take my left breast into his mouth and suck on it. The touch of his lips, his tongue sent jolts of pure desire through me that I feel I am going to break apart. I felt his hand slid inside my skirt and stroke me between my thighs.  I gasped. My legs instinctively parting to give him better access. His fingers slipped beneath my lace panties and homed on to my tingling clit. I cried out, my back arching as my body raced towards a climax.

His hand suddenly stilled, his head lifted from his onslaught of my left breast. Our eyes met. “Don’t stop,” I pleaded breathing raggedly.  He laughed and led me to the bed. “Your wish is my command Doll.”

I sit on the bed. He stared down at me for several seconds and then said, “Lie down.” I complied.  He then bent to slide his hands up my legs under my skirt and pulled down my black lace panties. I just watched him as he tossed my panties aside and began to take his clothes off starting with his shirt. I just laid there, watching him, my heart beating faster with anticipation, my face flushed with excitement.

“Part your legs.” I now heard him say. I opened my legs. I feel so incredibly turned on. I wanted his hands there. His lips. His tongue.

“Please?” I choked out.

“I won’t be long.” He promised. And I watched him unzip his fly and dragged his pants off revealing fit black briefs, and he took that off too.  I swallowed. He is big.

He finally stepped up  to the bed between my spread out knees.

I felt his hands scoop under my bare buttocks and pull me abruptly towards him and he angled himself into me and drove to the hilt.

I moaned. My head trashing from side to side. And before I knew it, he flipped me over, pushing my skirt out of the way and hoisted me up to my knees. And he was inside me again in no time.

It felt fantastic. I hear myself moan quite loudly. Dirty words coming out of my mouth. My hands clutching on the sheets on either side of my head. Raw animal sounds can be heard around the room. Mine. His. Until our bodies exploded together.

“More.” I muttered breathlessly.  “More.”

I hear him laugh. He was as breathless as I was. “Babe, give me a moment to recover.”  He pulled himself out of me and collapsed beside me. Spent. My knees gave in and I let my body relax.

“Now this could make things complicated.” That was the thought that was running through my mind.

I realized I must have said it out aloud because I heard him chuckle and say, “Sex doesn’t have to be complicated.”  He pulled me close in a sort-of embrace. “I didn’t mean to say that aloud --” And I thought of an excuse just to retract what I blurted out. “Even if you hadn’t said it out aloud, I had the feeling you were thinking it but -- I’d rather not talk about that and do this.”

He surprised me  by cupping my breasts in his hands, pushing them together, and he tongued my nipples. I gasped at the sensation of it. Then he began kissing his way down all the way past my belly button. I was holding my breath at this time, waiting for that blissful moment of actually feeling that tongue in my wet cunt. As if he could hear my silent plea or read my mind, he slid his tongue from one edge of my pussy lips.

When he entered my wet passage with his tongue pushing deep, it almost drove me to the edge. I had to grab on to the bed covers and readied myself for another release. Everything was spinning around and I felt like I have died and gone to heaven.

“La petite mort” or the little death - that’s another name for an orgasm.

This Girl Sleeps With Butterflies

Author's Note:  I like Tori Amos and I love this song of hers. I decided to write sort of a story with it. Bear in mind though that this is just a product of my highly imaginative state.

"Airplanes

Take you away again

Are you flying

Above where we live"

"Part your legs for me," I heard him whisper in my ear.  We were both sitting on the bed with nothing covering our naked bodies. Him leaning on the headboard. Me leaning against him.

"What?"

I felt my cheeks flush. I doubt he saw it with only candles lighting the room. I insisted on the candles, telling him it spelled romance but the reality is I really don't want him to see my body.

"Do it," he whispered again. This time giving my left ear a teasing bite.

I slowly parted my legs, not really knowing what his plan is but giving in nevertheless.

"Are you still wet?" He asked in a low voice.

"I think so," was just my reply.

"Touch yourself. Tell me if you're wet," came the order. I turned my head sideways to catch a glimpse of his expression. As always, it was hard to read the man.

"Why don't you touch me and find out yourself?" I bravely said giving him a challenging look.

"No, you do it." Came the nonchalant reply.

I noted the seriousness in his voice. His masked expression. I wish I knew what he was really thinking.

"Then I look up a glare in my eyes

Are you having regrets about last night”

The memory of the previous night’s lovemaking is still fresh in my mind.

He pinned me against the wall just as we entered the room. Before I knew what he was intending to do, he dropped to his knees.

“What are you doing?” the question more breath that solid words.

“Shhh.” He commanded as he lifted the hem of my dress, pushed it up past my thighs, to my waist. “I could smell your juices flowing.” And he gave me that killer grin of his.

I looked down on him with anticipation. This man is going to be the death of me! A warm tongue lapped up against my thigh. I feel my legs shake. The thought about that tongue finally lapping up my pussy juices makes me close to the edge. I feel his hot breath blow on my lace-covered mound. “Please,” I found myself begging not recognizing the voice. Was that me?  His fingers slid into me, penetrating me. I feel my tremors come. I moved my hips up and down his finger. Taking one inch, and then another. “More,” I demanded with desire. In less than a heartbeat, he managed to pull down my lace panties and began to suck my clit in earnest. “Oh God!” I feel my knees start to buckle. It was a good thing I had the wall for support. His warm lips and tongue sucked and licked and rammed one long finger all the way in, sliding and pumping it in time for my ongoing explosions. I realized I was grinding my pussy lips into his mouth as I came.

“I'm not but I like rivers that rush in

So then I dove in.”

“Do it.” Hearing his voice broke my reverie.

My fingers slipped and slid between my folds. “Wet...” I told him. He smiled. “Touch yourself.” I was already wet and so ready for him. I fought the urge to straddle him but I knew how easily his cock would slide into me. Gently, I touched myself between my legs, pushing one finger inside. I let out a small moan.

I feel both his hands touch my breasts.. Massaging.. Teasing the hard nipples. With that, I closed my eyes and spread my legs farther. I slipped two fingers between my slick folds. I was incredibly aroused and wet -- so wet.  I rubbed myself while he pinched and tugged at my nipples. I bit my lip nearly on the edge of coming. He bit and nibbled on my ear. His fingers still doing its teasing with my breasts. So close to the edge. “I want you,” I whispered. “Prove it.” He challenged. “Come for me.” With that, I feel myself convulse.

“Is there trouble ahead

For you the acrobat

I won't push you unless you have a net"

“Was that as mind blowing for you as it was for me just watching you do it?” He asked trailing kisses on my left shoulder.

“Indeed, it was.” I let out a contented sigh and relaxed on him.  “Are you tired?” He asked. “Want another round?” I asked back. “What do you think?” He tossed a question right back at me. And I vowed it was my turn this time.

“My turn.” I said as I shifted positions and faced him. His legs parted. He was looking at me with a questioning look. Actually, it looked like he was challenging me as well. Challenging me to break him. And I definitely intend to.  He was so hard. The veins on his cock were visibly pulsing. A thick, clear precum rested on its tip. “For me?” I asked as I leaned forward and swiped my tongue across its head not taking my eyes off him.

I heard him groan. He threaded his hands on my hair, pushing the tip against my puckered lips. I gave him a naughty grin as I turned my head sideways and licked and sucked at his length, purposely staying away from his cock head. I head a low moan and a sharp intake of breath. I my fingers start to toy with his balls. He bucked into my mouth finally managing to to slip his cock head between my lips.

I sucked at the tip, so big, round and deliciously swollen, letting my tongue tease the tiny hole. I surprised him when I took all his length deep in my throat as I could, wanting to suck all the life out of him.  “Oh god!” He roared as his cock pulsed once then twice then three times inside my mouth and his hot cum shooting down my throat. I wanted to such down every last drop of his sweet release. I instinctively tightened my lips around his shaft and squeezed his balls as he came.

His legs grew limp and I smiled. His cock still in my mouth, still rock hard. “You are incredible!”

"You say the word

You know I will find you”

“Lie down.” He said. I lay back on the bed. He bent and brushed his lips to my mouth and kissed me gently as he eased his body on top of mine. I shifted my body as best as I could in an attempt to part my legs. He lifted his lower body slightly and I opened my legs and reached for his cock. I rubbed his hard rod up and down the length of my pussy. We both shivered in delight.

“Put it inside me.” I told him. With that, he slowly eased into me. He pushed slowly and steadily until he was fully seated within. I shuddered and slipped my arms around his body and stroked my hands up and down his back. He withdrew slightly and then began to thrust into me. Oh lord, that felt good. I closed my eyes, clung to him, rotating my hips, lifting my body up to meet his downward thrusts. He sucked my tongue and I felt my pussy creaming around his hard shaft and the muscles in my stomach start clenching. I was getting ready to come!

He closed his lips over my right breast. He reached between our intertwined bodies and began rubbing a thumb against my clit. He pushed his cock into me, this time in a series of rough, short thrusts that finally culminated his cumming. I exploded! Coming a fast, furious rush. He gave one final hard thrust then collapsed on top of me shuddering and groaning with his face against my neck. I stroke his back, relishing the weight of his sweaty body on mine.

“Or if you need some time

I don't mind

I don't hold on

To the tail of your kite"

He looks so calm and sated.  I noted as I watched him sleep.

I conceded it would be so easy to become addicted to having him as my lover, whether I was in love with him or not.

Would I have the willpower to stop seeing him?

Or would I succumb to this madness and keep stupidly hoping there is a future for us?

"I'm not like the girls that you've known

But I believe I'm worth coming home to

Kiss away night

This girl only sleeps with butterflies

So go on and fly then boy"

Promiscuous Girl

"Well, I've been a bad, bad girl..."  And so Fiona Apple's song "Criminal" starts.

If you ask me how many men I have slept with, I would have to say I honestly don't know. There was a point in my life na naging pakawala ako for mga 2-3 years. I was counting at first but then I lost count and just threw caution to the wind.

I was 20 when I first had a boyfriend, but considering that it was an LDR (long-distance relationship) I guess that doesn't really count. Pero it felt real for me at that time. We were on and off for 2 years, and when we broke off dahil nga sa distance and communication problems, that's when my downward spiral began. I was 22, not in a relationship, and things just got lonely so I frequented chat rooms and posting ads on chat TV because of the loneliness. I guess you could say I was looking for love in the wrong places, but at that time it didn't matter. Did I mention I'm fat? So I guess that played a factor too, because I wanted to be accepted.  I remember going out with a guy once and he told me while we were having coffee sa Starbucks that the only reason he wanted to meet me was because he never fucked a fat girl before and wanted to try. Anyway, he wasn't a good fuck so why bother doing it again.

I remember having read a few chapters of Kerry Cohen's "Loose Girl: A Memoir of Promiscuity" and in more ways than one I related to the author. Being wanted became my greatest hope. Gradually, hooking up with the boys/men became a need, a way to boost my declining sense of self-worth.

I don't remember how it started. I don't remember every encounter. There were some I wanted to forget and still some I "quite fondly" remember.

I remember a few funny moments too. There was this one time I decided to meet with a guy sa Jollibee Kalentong. I lived in Bacood at that time and he lived in San Juan so meeting in Kalentong was perfect for us. I knew something was already off when I saw him and noted that I was about 2 inches taller than him. My height is average at 5 feet and 2 inches. So that would make him around 5 inches tall give or take. It's a good thing that I don't wear heels.

Anyway, so we walked all the way to his apartment, which was mga 2-3 blocks din from Kalentong. When we reached his place and immediately after locking the door, he immediately grabbed me and kissed me sa leeg.

"Oh my.. Ang bango mo.. Kanina pa ako tinitigasan sa pabango mo," he said. "Wait.. Wait muna.." I said. I was actually having second thoughts at that time about sleeping with him. I just had this bad feeling that things weren't going to turn out okay. But he paid no heed and just continued kissing me, this time sa lips - sloppy kisses and wet ones. I don't like sloppy kisses. Before I knew it, he pushed me to his bed and pumaibabaw agad sya sakin, still kissing my lips, cheeks, neck, shoulders.  "I am horny for you," sambit nya.

"We're still dressed. Wait lang, let me take my clothes off." Sabi ko sa kanya. "No need. Pwede na to," sagot naman nia sakin. I was wearing a skirt at that time so it was easy for him to take off my black panties. Nililis nia lang palda ko. I thought he was going to finger me first or play with my clit to make me hornier and wetter pero he started undoing his belt and then his pants. He just pushed his pants way down his knees and then did the same thing with his boxers. "Oh my," I said in my mind when I saw his cock and I watched him put on a condom. Are my eyes deceiving me?? Sinlaki lang ata ng pinkie (little finger) ko! I didn't have much experience with guys at that time and he was probably the fourth guy I have seen naked waist down.  His manhood, or should I say littlemanhood is jutting out ready for the fight of its life. To be honest, I was disappointed. I didn't think I'd be having it that small! Parang yung purefoods cocktail lang sya. And I wondered tuloy siguro if di sya fully aroused it would look like a button! Ang sama-sama ko, ano? Pero that's what was really going through my mind.

I remember tuloy asking a close friend in college once if size matters. She told me it doesn't, and it's the performance that counts. I certainly hoped that time that my friend was right.

Back to my story, so pumaibabaw na sia sakin and said, "I want to fuck you na. You made me so horny with what you texted earlier."  And I remembered I did sent him steamy text messages earlier that day. In short, nilandi ko sya sa text. Kumagat naman.

"Here goes nothing," sabi ko sa isip ko. So he positioned himself and started to enter me and I waited for it. Nothing. Pero bat ganun? Parang iba na facial expression nia? Tapos he's starting to pump.

Sabi ko, "Wait, di pa ata naipasok."

"Ohhhhhh... nasa loob na.. Ang init mo.. Ang sarap.." sabi nia.

Bat ganun?? Eh I don't feel a thing pero parang namimilipit sia sa sarap? So I looked at where our bodies are supposedly connected. And I finally found out what was wrong. I sort of had my thighs together that time so when he supposedly "went inside me" it was actually "inside my inner thighs" and not my pussy!

Oh my god this is soooo funny! And I wanted to laugh out loud. Honest to godness, I was starting to actually burst into laughter. And when I look at his face parang nasa Seventh Heaven sia sa sarap. So I did the most noble thing I could muster to do, I faked it and just closed my eyes and prayed it to be over.

A few seconds and inner thigh pumps later, he came. Pagod na pagod sia. "Ang sarap mo... Grabe..." sabi nia sakin. Isang mahabang "hmmmnnn" lang yung sinagot ko. He stood up and went straight to his bathroom to dispose of the rubber, and I was left sa bed almost bursting to laugh. I can't believe this happened to me!

But it did, so there you go.. Funny story though. Eto pa, we walked back to Kalentong.. Ang while we were walking, nakaakbay sia sakin and kept telling me over and over that it was good fuck and he had a great time and asked me if I enjoyed it and if he was good in bed. I just smiled sweetly, neither nodding or saying no. And to definitely finish the day off, nanghiram pa sakin ng 20 pesos pamasahe to go to Quiapo because he was meeting his friends, 500 pesos daw kasi pera nia. Walang barya. So I gave him 20 pesos. That was definitely one funny encounter! And I paid him 20 pesos for one lousy thigh-pumping event.

Oh well!